If you're lucky, maybe you'll be invited. 
REMEMBER WHEN ANDREW MILLER WAS JUST A STRANGER BITCH COMING FROM DETROIT? SOB.
Logan Morrison and Brett Hayes show off their juggling skills before a game against the Chicago Cubs.
Logan Morrison is one of the best characters in all of baseball…
By Keelime
“I really want cookies,” he moaned as he sat on the couch with his legs wide open. Justis Logan Morrison, as is listed on his birth certificate, stared ahead at the television playing random sports highlights. He ran his long, perfectly manicured fingers through his lucious golden hair.
Now let me tell you, because I’ve touched a lot of heads in my day, that no other head is more perfect than his. I’m pretty sure Aphrodite sang and some unicorns gathered to fasten the delicate fibers onto his scalp, after dipping it in Olympic wine of course. It’s softer than a cloth blanket washed with extra fabric softener. The curls fall delicately against his pale neck in such a manner that the angels weep and small children sing with joy whenever they have the fortune to gaze upon them.
“To get up or not to get up.”
As he contemplated this, a superhumanly perfect male being walked through the door of their one bedroom apartment. It was his friend, his bro, his confidante, his compadre, his everything, his other half to the Lomopipes connection.
Bryan Nathaniel Arthur David Christopher Julien Pipes Petersen pranced through the door on his perfectly sculpted legs. He noticed a twinge of worry on his special friend’s baby smooth face.
“What’s up, bro?” he asked with concern.
All Logan could do was sigh with melancholy.
“I ask again, what vexes you, my Logan?”
Logan’s ears wiggled with joy at the words springing from Petersen’s supple pink lips in that beautiful melody. It was more than enough to force his will to die down and tell his close friend what was on his mind. As he glanced up, he caught the blue swirls of ocean and everything that is wonderful and magical in the world also known as Petersen’s eyes. He inhaled sharply and clutched the end of the couch for support. After regaining his composure, Logan began to speak.
“Well, I want to make cookies but these clunky old legs won’t allow me to walk over to the kitchen and fix them.”
Petersen cocked his head to the side in disbelief.
“What? That’s crazy talk and I won’t have it. Remember, you are beautiful in every single way. Words can’t bring you down. Now put your paws up baby, because you were born this way.”
Logan’s eyes lit up in awe at such incredibly comforting words. “Wow, those were some amazing words.”
“I know, got it from a google search. I believe Nostradamus said it. Anyway, the answer to your problem is me.”
“You mean, I get to eat you up instead?”
Petersen smiled sheepishly and tilted his head downwards in slight embarrassment. “No, you silly goose. I can help you to the kitchen and we can make them together.”
“Oh,” Logan responded with a red face. The two, gorgeous and well-in-shape men stared at each other for several moments. They watched each other’s masculine, sweaty chests rise and fall with each breath, their heart rates increasing. Logan noted the way Bryan’s eyes sparkled under the artificial light as though they were the Heart of the Ocean necklace strung around Rose’s neck as Jack drew her naked. Logan’s mind then went to recreating that scene.
Meanwhile, Petersen couldn’t help but internally smile at the way Logan’s golden hair sat on his head like a field of slinkees, just waiting to be played with. And oh, what fun that would be. His mind snapped back to reality, however, and he was the first to break the erotic silence.
“Let’s do it.”
Petersen’s slim, fit body sauntered over to the couch like a sexy snake in a Britney video. It was magical, rays of light shining behind him. He extended his hand, to which Logan clasped and sparks flew. It was a Taylor Swift song in that moment and their hearts were singing in sync. Their strength united, Logan was hoisted easily from the couch and finally able to stand on his own. Now, comes the fun part: making cookies together.
—————————————————————————————-
Stay tuned kiddies for the rest of the adventure.
The Mantises are holding a prayer circle tonite for @LoMoMarlins. #FreeLoMo
Preying Mantis: 1
Logan Morrison: 0
No big deal, just playing the Washington Nationals
Cool story bro
Lomopipes, the greatest romance in the history of living.
~FREE BITCH BABY
Back on May 26, the Marlins were flying high. They departed San Francisco after claiming a three-game sweep and a piece of the Giants’ soul. You’ll need no reminder that one of Florida’s victories came on Scott Cousins’ takeout slide that ripped apart Buster Posey’s ankle and ended his season.
Since that series, the Marlins are 3-17. Cousins is on the disabled list with a back injury.
And the unofficial, off-the-record sentiment in Giants land?
Hey, karma’s a bitch.
(”(via catindigamajig)
YOU ARE AN IDIOT WHO DOES NOT KNOW HOW BASEBALL IS PLAYED. THERE ARE UPS. AND THERE ARE DOWNS. YOUR STATEMENTS IMPLY THAT COUSINS DID WHAT HE DID WITH MALICE WHEN THAT IS IN FACT FALSE. IT WAS A CLEAN PLAY, POSEY MADE A MISTAKE IN KEEPING HIS LEG DOWN WHEN A HORIZONTAL FORCE WAS COMING AT HIM, THUS LEG FRACTURE AND NOT A DISLOCATED SHOULDER.
IF YOU LEARNED ANYTHING ABOUT STATISTICS, YOU WOULD KNOW THAT CORRELATION = / = CAUSE AND EFFECT.
THE MARLINS DOING HORRIBLY DOES NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE GIANTS. THEY HAVE THEIR OWN STRUGGLES AND MANY BASEBALL TEAMS HAVE GONE THROUGH THIS BEFORE.
WHAT YOUR STATEMENTS HAVE PROVEN IS HOW CLASSLESS AND IGNORANT A PERSON CAN BE. THIS DOESN’T MAKE YOU A FAN, JUST AN ASSHOLE WHO PROBABLY FAILED STATISTICS.
COME AT ME BRO
Back on May 26, the Marlins were flying high. They departed San Francisco after claiming a three-game sweep and a piece of the Giants’ soul. You’ll need no reminder that one of Florida’s victories came on Scott Cousins’ takeout slide that ripped apart Buster Posey’s ankle and ended his season.
Since that series, the Marlins are 3-17. Cousins is on the disabled list with a back injury.
And the unofficial, off-the-record sentiment in Giants land?
Hey, karma’s a bitch.
”Andrew Baggarly’s Post-game notes
(via catindigamajig)
YOU ARE AN IDIOT WHO DOES NOT KNOW HOW BASEBALL IS PLAYED. THERE ARE UPS. AND THERE ARE DOWNS. YOUR STATEMENTS IMPLY THAT COUSINS DID WHAT HE DID WITH MALICE WHEN THAT IS IN FACT FALSE. IT WAS A CLEAN PLAY, POSEY MADE A MISTAKE IN KEEPING HIS LEG DOWN WHEN A HORIZONTAL FORCE WAS COMING AT HIM, THUS LEG FRACTURE AND NOT A DISLOCATED SHOULDER.
IF YOU LEARNED ANYTHING ABOUT STATISTICS, YOU WOULD KNOW THAT CORRELATION = / = CAUSE AND EFFECT.
THE MARLINS DOING HORRIBLY DOES NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE GIANTS. THEY HAVE THEIR OWN STRUGGLES AND MANY BASEBALL TEAMS HAVE GONE THROUGH THIS BEFORE.
WHAT YOUR STATEMENTS HAVE PROVEN IS HOW CLASSLESS AND IGNORANT A PERSON CAN BE. THIS DOESN’T MAKE YOU A FAN, JUST AN ASSHOLE WHO PROBABLY FAILED STATISTICS.
(via catindigamajig)
